Expectations Unlimited

This may sound a little out of focus but since expressing yourself when in a drunken state is acceptable , I believe in of the ideals of free speech and hence bring forward to you the examples of expectations . These have complete resemblance to real life and all facts hereby stated are completely true .

1.Expectations from friends 

Stuck in traffic , traveling by train or even short of money the first person you wish to contact is a friend . A friend in need is thus is always a friend indeed . Without someone who has the same ideals  and practices as you do you wouldn't ever connect with friend.

2.Expectations after an examination 

The world revolves around what you score . What your neighbors think about your score and the worst is what your friends think about where you stand . The more marks you score the high regards you hold in the eyes of your parents , your relatives , your friends  and everyone who you think didn't matter to you in your past .
 

3. Expectations with a date

Imagine yourself going out on a date with your significant other you keep wondering how it will turn out to be .The guy is constantly thinking 'Would I be getting that good night kiss after all ' . Now if it where the girl the golden rule that applies here is expecting the call from the guy within 3 days after the date . If its the guy whose fallen for the girl , god help you ! You are shit panicky about making that one call .

4. Expectations from your parents
 
Now if hell breaks lose you start expecting things from your parents . Parents are your worst enemies at times , they start creating something that is impervious to break through . I hope you should make the  most when you have a high understanding for what they tend to convey.

5. Expectations from your neighborhood 

If you weren't the sloppy kind then the neighborhood that you'd live in always mattered to you . You want good people surrounding you . You want a clean a decent surrounding too . Wouldn't want people knocking at your door if you played the music to loud or invited a few friends over .

6.Expecting a child

The most common cause of expecting after one gets married is someone who wishes to have a child . With your heart filled with joy you are venturing to the happier side of life .But if it wasn't planned for then probably you should be taught about those vending machines again . Yes Listen up now !


7.Expectations from the Government

Life usually revolves around what the government sets for us . Banning of after hours drinking , partying with loud music  , even sometimes fares for that auto-rickshaw that you often travel through . Security for women , children and the elderly is negotiated at some point or the other .
 
8. Expectations from life

The only thing that bothers anyone is who succeeds and who is left behind , these create a great divide even in intellectual minds . Every individual wishes to make the most of the time he spends with friends and family and thus with only one goal to achieve he breaks free from the bonds of human interaction .

9. Expectations from technology 
 
When Steve Jobs working so hard for your comfort , no wonder the i-phone releases a new version every few months . Google worshipers(such as 'me') wondering when there will be a new update on the google page . We are lazy bums and when we wish for some changes (technology-wise) we want it to happen soon .

10. Expectations from God :

'One last chance' or rather that lucky shot you were always pleading for is what your expecting from the almighty . One fine day all your prayers are for a purpose and that purpose is summed up to be delivered to him . Being an atheist I never believed in god though ; so my prayers were for Satan and shall always be .

5 Things that gross you out

Yes I am finally being sarcastic about the nation I live in . Any amount of convincing is not going to change my opinion about it . So here are the list of 5 (sluggish) awesome Indian things :


1.Digging your nose : 
Gross right ? Well there is not much you can do to improve such a habit . We ( yes imagine hairy,bald and ugly people in the "We" ) have this annoying habit of digging for treasures . The pleasures contained in this act is solely for the thrill seeking part of the adventure until you strike gold . Another favourite pastime as we may say it .

2.Farting :
Creating a gas chamber for a person sitting next to you never gives him a pleasurable experience unless you are have a fetish for odd things . This mainly happens in a crowded train when the on-lookers are least aware of what is about to hit them .

3.Sneezing :
 Usually when someone tries to suppress a sneeze it is said that he may rupture a nerve . Hence leaving no such traces behind we tend to sneeze as loud as we can . The tremors that are caused or the after effects are echoes that keep ringing in your head . The best way to avoid it is .... nothing just need to close your ears when you see someone trying to sneeze , if you are lucky enough you would dodge your way through the big bang !

4. Dirty Laundry :
This one is for the for people who wouldn't change laundry for days to come . Fumigating with nerve damaging powers these hunters set out for a sure kill . Carrying a pride over their stinking abilities they would put a skunk to shame . These people belong to areas which are devoid of water or they are activists working on their ecological footprint to make it through the worst .

5.Religious Bias :
Now when you are asked about your name the first thing that pops to someones head is what religion do you belong to . I wish that someone comes up with neutral names to end this discrimination . Then we can grow as a nation together !


Yours sincerely ,
Crazed Indian.

Day One at the Gym

First Day at the Gym tends to light a few sparks here and there , but since I had the least interest in performing any physical activities . I created a parallel universe for myself today so that I begin to enjoy the workout .

Exercise no.1 : Cycling

This workout is to help train your respiratory system and your heart . Now if you are speaking about the heart yes mine was pounding like a rock on a grindstone but it took about 5 minutes for me to figure out that i was ACTUALLY WORKING OUT .

Exercise no.2 : Tread Mill

Here the trainer found rejoice in coming every two minutes and pacing up the automated tread mill . With every step i took my breathing began to inflate . Thought the best part of this workout was i was able to figure out how many calories I had burnt . Result - 95.5 calories burnt

Exercise no.3 : Thing that has no name

Well the regime here applies to a machine where we ought to pedal with our hands . Not much to talk about here it was a 5 minute workout . Result -35 calories burnt

And so ends day-one with a few stretching exercises .

Weight:85kgs
Calories Burnt : 140.5