Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Facebook Bias

1. Always online :  These people were meant to be online on facebook . They are there waiting , watching their computer screens to load something ; yes something atleast so they can feed their dead brains or they just keep clicking on the " Most Recent " tab over and over again . Finally realizing whatever they have right now is complete and updated feeds about their friends . Its actually pretty exhausting in the beginning but sooner or later everyone catches up to it . So needn't worry . Keep pushing that button .

2. He likes : You make a post about being kicked in the nuts , this butt head will not wait to click on the like button . Its involuntary you know , the rule that applies here is someone posts something on their wall about liking or not liking things and he will pop in and go ahead to like that thing you just wrote . Works wonderful at times even liking your status update with in 3 seconds . Even though sometimes the post maybe have been put up in the dead of the night .  He surely could be someone who is offensive in his own way . 

3. Video Spammer : The interesting part about this guy could only be that sometimes its a relief to have a look at the videos that were posted on his wall . Some maybe funny , some may want to teach you some moral value or some maybe crappy old stuff that you've seen a lot of times already . It occurs to you at times that does he even watch all these videos he's been posting . I think I had seen him comment on a video of a dog pooping which read " how nice ! I wish I could do this sometime . "

4. Quote me not :  You were wondering if hes the guy right out of page 3 with high intellect . Ah yes ! both being ironical couldn't ever exist . Making a fool of himself with a dairy of quotes in his hand and facebook at the other . He starts jotting down statements meant for kids or Justin Bieber as he merrily indulges into his facebook etiquette . The only reason you want him on your wall is that without his stupid anecdotes you would never have had happier day .

5. The Application Addict : Takes a quiz about you and posts it on your wall saying that "To know about the answers that I have given about you , you need to press here " . There you go intrigued wondering what could be that thing he was talking about later only to find out that it was an auto generated post which he FUCKING DIN'T REALISE when he clicked on the application . Another kind is those people who game a lot and keep updating with their high scores . What do you know " I DONOT WANNA KNOW ABOUT IT !"

6. The I see you I will ping you guy : They are virtual stalkers . They are lonely and waiting for you to come online . They wait with their flickering monitors and keyboards to say "hi" to you . And when you do respond to them , they just stop talking . Isn't that fun now ?  Keep doing that to your friends when they come online , you are sure to piss them off . Eventually being knocked off their friend lists too .

7. Parents are on facebook you creep ! :  You were tagged in that album where you got wasted in your swimming trunks no problem at all you wouldn't realise how soon it will go as an update over your parents wall at times . Yes their intellect equals to that of a lab rat and there is no end to it . Keep getting tagged in indecent pictures and let the world know of how retarded you were in the first place to add him as a friend .

8. The Event Co-ordinator : A festival to celebrate an uncle's younger brother's elder sister's little son's thread ceremony . Well worry not you are sure to get an invite soon . The only thing bothering you right now would be " HOW THE HECK DO I KNOW THIS GUY ? " From Funerals to Marriage (not arranged chronologically) , he organizes everything . So what hes got 15000 people in his list , he's still your friend right ?

9. Oh look I have more friends than you do : " The List " . It consists of people from all over the globe who have the same occupation as you do i.e. "Send Friend Requests" . Begins a morning with a hot cup of coffee and the Daily Friend Suggestion column for his breakfast . There is no escaping a request from this fella . You definitely have been invited to be a part of his friend list at some point of time .

10. The guy with random updates : Though these updates are not random all the time but you kinda have him on your wall updating saying "Too sloshed at work I so miss you already" . Wondering who was he referring to since he's the guy who in the wildest of your dreams would never get hooked . So you go ahead and post about the sweet nothings on his wall and what do you know he was talking about the beer can in his refrigerator .

Haha have a good one folks . Thanks for reading .

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