Cyc-hed Out!

Have you ever rode a bicycle when you were a teenager ? Have you enjoyed it as much as you should have ? Have you tried to ride the bicycle with no hands ? Well too many questions but the reason I am asking you these things is this weekend I rode a bicycle after so many years and I had a lot of thoughts in my head . These were some of the following :

1. No signals , no traffic : 

You can maneuver through little by-lanes and spots or openings that would help you navigate through your city . Thus lesser amount of time spent on those stupid traffic lights . Dodging in every which way possible you obviously reach your destination before those buggers on vehicles do . And yes you could even drive on the wrong side of the road if you wanted to , but I would not count on it though .

2. From zero to Lance Armstrong :

Those unnecessary hours at the Gym . Trivial exercises . Too much on your plate to even go hit the gym probably cycling will help you figure out a good way to exercise . Lance Armstrong the man who could battle Cancer and the one has a passion for cycling will always be your role model . And if you were wondering what muscles you would train you should take a look here .

3. Drunken Driving :

Every time I go to a bar I need to park my bike somewhere safe so that I can pick it up the next day . But if you were to ride a bi-cycle , you wouldn't be worrying about it so much . You can totally get sloshed and ride it back home . Just do not forget to wear your riding gear if you are too tipsy I mean .

4. Jo Jeeta wahi sikander :

Everyday you ride your cycle you would have one song to sing . Pure inspiration from a hit movie . Blood pumping through your veins . Only at the end of the day you would not have a school to support for but still have a song to sing along . Tired of it you can even try and switch to a better song to impress thy women , something like " Sone ki cycle , Chandi ki seat "( FYI i heart bollywood ) .

5. Save on money : 

Low on cash this is the right choice for your travel escapades . It is by far the cheapest substitute for your traveling woes . Just hop on to your cycle and all your money problems begin to fade away . In the meantime Captain Planet appreciates your help towards a greener future . I can imagine Gaia in the background with her spiritual looks totally checking you out .

And again if  you were wondering why I brought up cycling today , it is cause of an initiative started by a man from Bengaluru who visions for a greener tomorrow .

If you cared maybe you should have a look at this link :

http://www.gogreengocycling.org/

The Facebook Bias

1. Always online :  These people were meant to be online on facebook . They are there waiting , watching their computer screens to load something ; yes something atleast so they can feed their dead brains or they just keep clicking on the " Most Recent " tab over and over again . Finally realizing whatever they have right now is complete and updated feeds about their friends . Its actually pretty exhausting in the beginning but sooner or later everyone catches up to it . So needn't worry . Keep pushing that button .

2. He likes : You make a post about being kicked in the nuts , this butt head will not wait to click on the like button . Its involuntary you know , the rule that applies here is someone posts something on their wall about liking or not liking things and he will pop in and go ahead to like that thing you just wrote . Works wonderful at times even liking your status update with in 3 seconds . Even though sometimes the post maybe have been put up in the dead of the night .  He surely could be someone who is offensive in his own way . 

3. Video Spammer : The interesting part about this guy could only be that sometimes its a relief to have a look at the videos that were posted on his wall . Some maybe funny , some may want to teach you some moral value or some maybe crappy old stuff that you've seen a lot of times already . It occurs to you at times that does he even watch all these videos he's been posting . I think I had seen him comment on a video of a dog pooping which read " how nice ! I wish I could do this sometime . "

4. Quote me not :  You were wondering if hes the guy right out of page 3 with high intellect . Ah yes ! both being ironical couldn't ever exist . Making a fool of himself with a dairy of quotes in his hand and facebook at the other . He starts jotting down statements meant for kids or Justin Bieber as he merrily indulges into his facebook etiquette . The only reason you want him on your wall is that without his stupid anecdotes you would never have had happier day .

5. The Application Addict : Takes a quiz about you and posts it on your wall saying that "To know about the answers that I have given about you , you need to press here " . There you go intrigued wondering what could be that thing he was talking about later only to find out that it was an auto generated post which he FUCKING DIN'T REALISE when he clicked on the application . Another kind is those people who game a lot and keep updating with their high scores . What do you know " I DONOT WANNA KNOW ABOUT IT !"

6. The I see you I will ping you guy : They are virtual stalkers . They are lonely and waiting for you to come online . They wait with their flickering monitors and keyboards to say "hi" to you . And when you do respond to them , they just stop talking . Isn't that fun now ?  Keep doing that to your friends when they come online , you are sure to piss them off . Eventually being knocked off their friend lists too .

7. Parents are on facebook you creep ! :  You were tagged in that album where you got wasted in your swimming trunks no problem at all you wouldn't realise how soon it will go as an update over your parents wall at times . Yes their intellect equals to that of a lab rat and there is no end to it . Keep getting tagged in indecent pictures and let the world know of how retarded you were in the first place to add him as a friend .

8. The Event Co-ordinator : A festival to celebrate an uncle's younger brother's elder sister's little son's thread ceremony . Well worry not you are sure to get an invite soon . The only thing bothering you right now would be " HOW THE HECK DO I KNOW THIS GUY ? " From Funerals to Marriage (not arranged chronologically) , he organizes everything . So what hes got 15000 people in his list , he's still your friend right ?

9. Oh look I have more friends than you do : " The List " . It consists of people from all over the globe who have the same occupation as you do i.e. "Send Friend Requests" . Begins a morning with a hot cup of coffee and the Daily Friend Suggestion column for his breakfast . There is no escaping a request from this fella . You definitely have been invited to be a part of his friend list at some point of time .

10. The guy with random updates : Though these updates are not random all the time but you kinda have him on your wall updating saying "Too sloshed at work I so miss you already" . Wondering who was he referring to since he's the guy who in the wildest of your dreams would never get hooked . So you go ahead and post about the sweet nothings on his wall and what do you know he was talking about the beer can in his refrigerator .

Haha have a good one folks . Thanks for reading .

Mactarded

Yes its not a noun its a it is an adjective to express all mac lovers affection towards their sweet devices. There are basically two types of people in this universe , one who owns a MAC and the rest who don't (go figure) .

Well the reason for owning a MAC could sometimes be completely unnecessary hence the anger inside me begins to rise . The one guy who was not aware of what it was like to own a computer rig gets mac-ti-fied ! And voila we have envy ; green , red whatever color you call it pure envy .

Then comes a thought to me that what if there were a few devices you would love Apple  to make sometime . It could include always start with an "i" oh yes it would . I always wanted a device for swearing called i-swear or something when Indians would love to call i-shappath .


The i-phone 4 was something that was discussed a lot about a few days ago . Now I hear plans of another phone in the making and then you begin to think " Steve , stop it ! " . Just when you were rejoicing the feeling of owning thy phone you get struck by a new better release of the phone you hold in your hands . Sympathies to you my friend (Evil cackle in my head though ) .

There were times when a simple basic mp3 player was okay to listen to . But after the arrival of the i-pod ! God had never been so biased might have thought the competitors . The reason for the i-pod turning a hit would be the User Interface , oh yes it had a perfect UI . Turn the dial on the player like you used to just like in the olden days when you had to crank every number on your telephone . This was much interesting to play with . It was cool . It was white as the dove.

Then came different versions of the same shit , ipod nanos , touchs and then the i-phone . The same ipod touch which would allow you to make phone calls , well there were other features too but I just love de-glorifying your i-touch man ! The poor guy who owns an i-touch thinks " Steve STOP FUCKING WITH ME " . That's what I meant when I said new releases every 3 months .

Soon came the i-pad . This was a sleek and a sturdy design , yet again ! Everything is just perfect . The only thing it lacks is a fucking USB port !! Well actually the dock is present but USB would have rather been very simpler without us trying to connect that Apple cable every time we wanted to add an external device . And don't even get me started on it not being able to multi-task now .

Thus Mactards we still love you but wait before you make purchases cause maybe there will be something in line for you within the next few months . End of story .